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Pregnancy is a miracle in and of itself. Knowing that a person is being formed inside the delicate womb of a woman is truly astonishing. Only God. So why is it when you make the announcement of being pregnant with your second, third, fourth, child, people tend to say Wow, really? Congrats! in such a monotone way with no real joy in their tone whatsoever? You hear things like You really want to bring another child into this world? Like the world just all of a sudden became this awful place. It has always been awful and full of sin, since Adam and Eve. It has never been a perfect place to live and never will be. Heaven was made for that! My response to these types of questions and ignorances is Why would I want to stop the blessings of God being poured out on my life? as I rub my belly and feel my heart fill with joy and pure excitement for the little blessing being molded and created by the hands of the Almighty Creator!
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I started on fire for homeschooling, now I am not so sure it is for us. We took a break over the holidays and never returned. Quite frankly, I feel like a failure! I was scared and embarrassed to write it out here and admit that I just do not know anymore. I like the idea of being a homeschooling family, but haven't felt like doing the work since before Christmas! Prayer is what I need in making this decision which is why I have spent time Being Still.
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I love this little space where I get to share my thoughts and feelings with, well, complete strangers. But the friendships I have made are overwhelming and a true blessing and I wouldn't change a thing!
Linking up for the first time with Just Write!
The LORD reigns, He is clothed with majesty;
The LORD is clothed,
He has girded Himself with strength.
Surely the world is established, so that it cannot be moved.
~ Psalm 93:1
Girl, love your honesty! We are in a similar thoughts now trying to hear what the best path for the girls is. I sincerely hope it is homeschool, but if it is, I need to get in gear and get out of my funk :)
ReplyDeleteWish you were closer so I could give you a big hug :)
Sending hugs your way!
ReplyDeleteOh, how I understand (at least a little). There have been many times where the joy of having a new little one growing inside of me has been snuffed out with questioning looks & awkward comments. I remember after announcing that we were pregnant with one of ours (maybe Isaiah!?) a dear lady from church said, "You do know that you have to feed them, right? And that costs money." I wasn't sure if she was joking or if she truly thought I was that naive. To me a kind "Congratulations!" would have been much more appropriate. But I knew then & still do now that these little ones truly are blessings... not simply more mouths to feed.
Oh, & homeschooling!? Being pregnant & homeschooling is just plain hard. I remember many days where it just near impossible. Last year homeschooling got done because it was the only "normal" part of our day, but often got done with me laying on the couch.;0 Other times, if we played with blocks, read books & built with play-doh, that was good enough... those little ones are learning all the time! I also know that homeschooling is not for every family. I so admire your taking time to be still & to wait on His answers! So, so hard- but worth it! I'm praying for you!
Jessica
=D I hear you both ways!
ReplyDeleteI think it's helpful *for me* to have been raised home schooled. I don't Anticipate With Great Joy home schooling our own kids, even though I know it is for us. I just know that it's going to be demanding and I shall have to die to self even more completely and I don't like that idea. (Those are MY honest thoughts about it!) I don't believe it is for everyone. I think it is an enormous blessing for some. And pregnancy (and holidays) DO make one want to just...not do it. Or anything, really.
I'll be praying that God gives you wisdom and peace and if He proceeds to direct you to home school then I pray you'll be filled with joy (which doesn't always equate to enthusiastic happiness) to do the job well!
It's a hard decision but everything I know about you assures you that you are going to be making a decision that beautifully fits your family and brings glory to the Lord - which ever direction that takes you!
I so enjoy reading your posts, and I can relate to your honest thoughts. I just gave birth to our fifth child and had many negative comments tossed my way. It is so worth it though, and, as you pointed out, this little one is a blessing, a true gift, from God.
ReplyDeleteAs for homeschooling, I can relate to that too. I was going through the first three months of pregnancy during our last quarter of last year, and the last three months of pregnancy during our first quarter this year! Not good - at all! I had to lower my expectations a great deal, but that's OK. 8 weeks after our little one arrived, I am finally feeling like my old self, and thanks to the flexibility of home schooling, we're catching up in some of the areas we got behind in. My kids are doing fine and best of all, we're a happy, close family. Homeschooling isn't for everyone, but any honest person who home schools will admit to having doubts about it and being overwhelmed by it. Like the mom above said, it involves a lot of dying to self, but again, it is so worth it. I'll be praying for you as you seek God's direction.
I LOVE that pregnancy photo! No wonder baby wearing is so natural to the baby :) I'm expecting our third. My two little brothers-in-law are also living with us, so this will be the 5th child in our house and people have looked at us like we're crazy for wanting and excepting more. I love how you worded it "Why would I want to stop the blessing of God being poured out on my life?" So so true!
ReplyDeleteFeel free to take time off, your little one is so small it's really okay. And my 2cents - never never make big decisions while pregnant or post partum. I learned that one the hard way :) Give yourself plenty of slack.
If you do decide not to homeschool their is no shame - it's not giving up it's just changing course. As long as God didn't call you to homeschool, it's totally your decision.
I've been homeschooling for 11 years and it's been such smooth sailing, I seemed to love each year even more. Then I had a baby and my BILs moved in and oy! I had a really really rough year and was ready to give up. I went to my husband practically begging to put everyone in public school. And he took me back to the reasons we began homeschool to begin with and asked me 4 pointed questions that helped set me back on that original path. If you want to read about it, the post is here: http://crispy-not-crunchy.blogspot.com/2011/08/tempted-to-public-school.html
I'm sorry to leave a novel in your comment section. I just want to encourage you because I can SO relate. Whatever you path you choose, if it honors God and His will, you're good :)
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