The Power in Words

"I'm the worstest daughter in the whole world!" she says from the backseat, tears streaming down her face, as we drive home from the party. Hearing those words hit me hard. They are words I never expected to hear. Words I never expected her to even think.

I swallowed hard and held back the warm tears that were filling my eyes. "You are the best daughter in the whole world. You are funny and smart and a wonderful big sister. All you need to learn to do is listen to me. That's it!"

"But mommy, that is so hard. And now you don't love me anymore!" How do I continue to discipline and teach her when I hear words like that!?

"Emma, I could never stop loving you. Nothing you could ever do would make me not love you! You are my daughter and mommy loves you very much." was my reply as I struggled, even harder, to hold back the tears that were now working their way down my cheeks.

Sometimes I wonder if I was cut out for the job of being a mother. Sure, the playing and laughing and storytelling are great. It is the disciplining that is the hardest. It is the disciplining that I struggle with the most. However, it is the disciplining that is the most important.

I am instructed to love my children. To nurture my children. To teach my children.  And to also discipline my children. It is all part of the job description.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24       

But it pains me when they do not listen. When I need to repeat myself over and over again to not do something. When I then have to discipline them by taking something away from them, or placing them in a corner. Seeing those tears fall and hearing the "Mama, I'm sorry!" over and over again, it breaks my heart. But I know it is right and I know it is what needs to be done.I do not expect perfection, for there is noone here on earth who is perfect, but I do, however, expect respect!

We had a rough day yesterday, which brought all this on. But at the end of the day, when I sat down to type this out, I looked over and saw the face of an angel, sound asleep on the couch. I thought to myself how so very blessed I am to be her mama. And in that moment, God brought it to my attention how much my disrespect pains Him. The very same way Emma's disrespect pains me. And how, just like I have said before, and how I told Emma that same afternoon, there is nothing that I could ever do that would make Him stop loving me. Ever! I believe a mother's love for her children is the closest representation of Jesus' love! It is so hard to fathom how a sinless Man could love someone so full of sin. But He does! And if that very same Man can forgive me without giving it a second thought, who better am I that I cannot do the same with my children? With my husband?

As we teach our children, I believe they are also teaching us! And I love how in those moments, God always shows up and brings to our attention exactly what we need to see or hear!

I kissed her forehead goodnight as I layed her in her bed and whispered a gentle reminder that I had forgiven her and that I still loved her more than ever! This mothering stuff is hard, but I couldn't picture myself doing anything else. I know how blessed I am!

::

1000 Gifts of Joy!

February 6 ~ February 19, 2012
{#51-#105}

#51 A fresh, new week
#52 Encouragement from friends
#53 Homemade burritos
#54 Watching Emma and Caleb learn together
#55 Chubby baby-almost big boy-hands
#56 Library fun
#57 Another warm, sunny day in February
#58 Laughing with my husband
#59 This C.S. Lewis Quote:

“No book is really worth reading at the age of ten which is not equally – and often far more – worth reading at the age of fifty and beyond.”

#60 Waking up to snow falling

#61 Hearing the baby's heartbeat

#62 Conversations with Emma

#63 A yummy, new recipe

#64 Little boy hugs

#65 Hearing "I love you" from Emma all day

#66 Getting bit by the crafty bug!

#67 Great dinner conversations

#68 Homemade Pierogies

#69 Watching movies with my mom

#70 My dad-the greatest grandpa

#71 Birthday parties

#72 Conversations with my husband on long car rides home

#73 Driving in the snow

#74 Spending the day with a great friend

#75 A knitting festival

#76 Soft alpaca

#77 A new project

#78 The protection from God above

#79 Lasagna

#80 Lunch at Olive Garden

#81 Some time to myself to read....at the library!

#82 A husband who loves me selflessly everyday of the year

#83 God's provisions

#84 Another day to be their mama

#85 A new book for the little man and seeing his excitement over it

#86 A great deal on a book for the big guys b-day

#87 Reading to my kids

#88 A new gadget

#89 Seeing a knitting project come to life

#90 Another bright and sunny day

#91 Dusting off the sewing machine

#92 Fabric buckets

#93 Painting with my kids

#94 Finding a fun, new craft

#95 Rainboots on my children's feet

#96 York Peppermint Patty Coffee Creamer!

#97 A glimpse of summer in the foods we eat

#98 Flowers blooming on my windowsill

#99 Continually laughing with my husband

#100 The kind hearts that make up my church

#101 Birthday celebrations

#102 Chatting with friends I haven't seen in far too long

#103 Being called "mama"

#104 Forgiveness

#105 Emma and all that I have learned and am learning through her!

also linking up at The Better Mom

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6