He Knows!

The softness of his hair as he lays next to me brushes against my cheek.

Morning.

He is ready to start the day.

The pitter patter of little feet follow me down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Breakfast is served.

Laughter and toothy grins fill the air as eggs and milk fill his tummy.

A sparkling kitchen means it's now time to play, but wait, not today.

We get dressed in a rush.

Pants, shirt, socks, shoes, coat are all thrown on him with lightning speed.

He starts to wimper. He knows.

With binky in place and an arm wrapped ever so tightly around the softness of his blue blanket, he watches me. Worried.

We pile into the car and the look on his face remains. Worry.

Silence fills the car as we drive. No babbling or giggling like regular. Today is different. He knows.

We arrive and find a spot up front. I unbuckle and pick him up and his head darts all around. The expression staying the same; worried.

He knows.

We walk across the street and enter the elevator. It dings: Floor 3.

Walking ever so briskly down the hall, fear has finally set in.

His hand grabs the neckline of my shirt with the intention of never letting go.

We wave bye to his sister and continue our walk down the hall.

His eyes settle on the door.

He knows.

And it starts.

The gates have opened with a crash and tears of shear fear come streaming down his face.

With forceful arms I pull his little hands from me and hand him over to the arms of another.

It is only for a short time, but his heart is breaking.

I dart from his sight and pull the door shut.

Standing there, it finally all settles in.

Outside I am all smiles. Inside my heart is breaking. He loves me that much!

Two hours pass and I return to see his tear streaked face.

His grasp around me is so tight; tighter than when I left.

He has found his comfort again. His safe place. 

I have returned.

All is right in his little world.

With arms wrapped ever so tightly around my neck, we enter the elevator and descend to Floor 1.

Worry has left and a smile has returned to his reddened face.

The car ride is once again filled with giggles and blabber.

We are headed home. He feels safe. He knows!

{the scene described above is what we used to go through on a weekly basis when I drop mjy son off for my woman's Bible study meeting or my MOPS meeting}

My son suffers from seperation anxiety. And it is bad. Both for myself and him. He hates to leave me. I hate to see him cry when I leave. But, I know that it is good, for the both of us.

But, when I return, wow! What a reunion. To feel love in such a way! I cannot express it and don't think anyone truly understands this type of love unless they are a mother!

Isn't that the type of love, though, that our Heavenly Father has for us? He hates to see us leave Him, or not spend enough time with Him in His presence. Our Pastor just touched on this in church today. He stated that the perfect will of God is that He longs to fellowship with His creation! {Genesis Chp. 1-4} That's us! He wants our attention all day; everyday! Not just on Sundays or Wednesday nights at church, but every morning, noon, and night! He loves us! And He wants us to get to know Him better. He already knows everything about us, but He wants us to know everything we can about Him! What an embrace He has for us. A hold; a grasp ever so tight. He never wants to let go!

Come to the Heavenly Father! Seek His warm embrace! Come with your tears, your fears, your joy! He knows!



O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. ~ Psalm 139:1