{anxiety = fear}

 

When I wrote it there a few weeks ago, I was still filled with excited anticipation! My mind had been reeling of all the exciting things I was thinking up for us to do throughout the year. Field trips, groups to join, classes to take - I felt like I was in control and ready to begin this journey! That day, I believed I could do it. We prayed about it - for months. I researched and asked questions, and researched some more. I ordered books, bought the crayons, pencils, and glue. I had everything cleaned out and re-organized from last year and all the crisp, new, items put in their place. I was full of joy. Now all that fills me is anxiety - fear!

 

anxiety - distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune

 

 

Here I am, five days away from that much anticipated day, and my planner still remains blank. The books are stacked nicely on their respective shelves, still waiting for me to really open them and take a look inside! I honestly have no idea what we will be doing come Tuesday. So, the panic sets in. How am I going to find just a minute to sit and get organized to begin next week? The baby requires so much of my time already - am I crazy to think I can actually do this? I wonder if it is too late to sign her up for public school - or cyber school? What were we thinking?

 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41:10

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ~ Philippians 4:6

 

How quickly I can be led astray! But reading these words reminded me once again of why I am doing this and how we got to this point. He directed our path! He led us here! He placed it in our hearts and on our minds to have the desire and excitement of teaching our children at home! I need to paint these verses on every room of my home! I need to read them every morning when I wake up - reminding me of how I got here. When the days are tough and I want to give up - I need to remember these words! His Words! And I know, then, that we will be ok!

 

Worrying over failing has got to go and instead be replaced by concentrating more on succeeding! Whether my planner is filled, front to back, by Tuesday or not, I need to believe in my heart that we are going to have a successful year and that I will find the time to plan and prepare - even if it has to be on a weekly, or sometimes daily, basis! I want that flame of excitement over learning together with my children to be re-ignited and I want to do it all with joy in my heart at wanting to succeed at what He has called me to do!

 

 

 

 

 

When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way,
he causes their enemies to make peace with them. ~ Proverbs 16:7